Adult Slogans

Adult Slogans

 

Squirrel who runs up woman's leg not find nuts.

He who fishes in another man's well often catches crab.

(On front) Not worried? U should b.

"Have you ever noticed that if you rearranged the letters in mother in law, they come out to Woman Hitler?"

"Was today really necessary?"

(Font is really small, so you have to step forward to read it)

(On front) Abracadabra!! (on back) oops.. You’re still ugly.

*Conditions apply

'If you are reading this shirt, then phase one of my evil plan is complete..'

'My face is up here’

'The best thing about this shirt is that by the time you finish reading it, you realize you just wasted ten seconds of your life'

"B.M.W. :- Beer Motorcycle Women"

"Few women admit their ages a few men act theirs."

"Yah. I'm that hot."

"You're not ugly, I'm just handsome"

A Boss: Someone who's early when you're late and late when you're early

A company is known by the people it keeps.

A day without sunshine is like, night.

A fool and his money are a girl's best friend.

Aahhaa....got u staring at my t shirt!!

Adults are just kids with money.

Age is a high price to pay for maturity

All Men Are Idiots... And I Married Their King.

All those who believe in psychokinesis raise my hand.

Allow me to introduce my selves.

Are zebras black with white stripes, or white with black stripes?

Be Nice To Your Kids; they’ll Pick Out Your Nursing Home.

Body by Nautilus; Brain by Mattel

Boldly Going Nowhere

Born Free . . . . . Taxed to Death.

But I Just Can't Get My Head That Far Up My Ass

Can't afford it, can't touch it

Can't feed 'Em! Don't Breed Em'!

Cat: The Other White Meat

CAUTION: Contents Hot!

Change a life; make someone feel important.

Change is good...you go first!

Chaos, panic and disorder - my work here is done.

Cheer up, the worst is yet to come.

Chemistry is just like cooking. Just don't lick the spoon.

Children are like farts: your own are just about tolerable but everyone else's are horrendous.

Man who walk through airport turnstile sideways going to Bangkok.

Cleverly Disguised As a Responsible Adult

Clones are people too

Cole's Law: Thinly Sliced Cabbage

Confidence is the feeling you have before you understand the situation.

Congratz, by reading this shirt you wasted 6 seconds of your life. I hope you're happy.

Conserve water. Drink beer!!!

Constipated People Don't Give A Shit.

Death is God's way of telling you not to be such a wise guy.

DETEST-de stuff de teacher gives de students when ya expect it de least!!!

Dewey, Skrewem, & Howe (attorneys at law)

Did the early settlers ever go on a camping trip?

Did they have antiques in the olden days?

Do birds pee?

Do it today ... it might be illegal tomorrow!

DO NOT DISTURB already quite disturbed.

Do not play a leap frog with a unicorn.

Do one legged ducks swim in circles?

Do they ever shut up on your planet?

Does anyone actually kill two birds with one stone?

Does this shirt make me look fat?

Does this shirt match my shoes???

Does your face hurt? Cause its killing me!

Don't Annoy The Crazy Person.

Don't be smart, you're not good at it...

Don't Drink and Drive...You Might Hit A Bump and Spill Your Drink.

Don't follow me. I'm lost too.

DON'T FOLLOW ME..I'M LOST..

Don't give me your attitude, I have my own.

Don't let your mind wander. It's too small to be let out on its own

Don't make me mad. I'm running out of places to hide the bodies

DON'T READ THIS!

Don't Stare At Me.....You Will Fall In Love.

Don't Be Sexist - Bitches Hate That

Don't blame me, I was born Awesome!

Don't come knocking if the car is rocking.

Don't f*** with my head and I won't think with my dick!

Don't let schooling get in the way of your education.

Don't play stupid with me... I'm better at it!

Don't steal, the government hates competition.

Don't wish for it... work for it.

Don't worry about the world ending today, it’s already tomorrow in Australia.

Don't worry about life; you're not going to survive it, anyway.

Drive defensively, buy a tank!

Due to budget cuts, light at end of tunnel will be out.

Dyslexics Have More Fnu.

Dyslexics of the world, untie!

E. coli Happens

Each day is a gift.

Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.

Eat Right, Exercise, Die Anyway

Elvis Is Dead and I'm Not Feeling Too Good Myself

Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.

Ever Stop To Think And Forget To Start Again?

Ever wonder how people who tell you to calm down are the ones who got you mad in the first place.

Everybody has a right to be stupid, but you're abusing your privilege!!!

Everyone has a photographic memory. Some don't have film.

Everyone has the right to their own opinion... Yours is just wrong.

Everyone Is Entitled To My Opinion

Excuse me, but do I look like someone who cares ?

Flies spread disease, keep yours closed!

Follow me I KNOW THE WAY TO HELL(on back)

GIMMIEABREAK!

Give me chocolate and nobody gets hurt.

God Bless Our Troops.

GOD is busy........ can I help you!!!

Grow Your Own Dope, Plant A Man

Guys: No Shirt, No Service -- Gals: No Shirt, No Charge

Ha! Ha! Made You Read

HARD WORK WILL PAY OFF LATER. LAZINESS PAYS OFF NOW!

Have a nice day... somewhere else.

He who laughs last thinks slowest.

Hey, Wanna know how to keep an idiot waiting...."I'll tell you tomorrow"...

Hogwarts Dropout

Housework makes women ugly.

How can I miss you if you won't go away?

Humpty Dumpty was pushed.

I am busy you're ugly, have a nice day'

I am usually very skinny and gorgeous but its my day off!!!!!

I can only please one person a day. TODAY IS NOT YOUR DAY.

I Do All My Own Stunts

I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce.

I don't do mornings.

I get enough exercise just pushing my luck!

I go to school to SOCIALIZE

I Got A Gun For My Wife; Best Trade I Ever Made.

I have an attitude and I'm not afraid to use it.

I Have The Body Of A God ... Buddha

I just want revenge. Is that so wrong?

I like you. You remind me of myself when I was young and stupid.

I love animals - they taste great!

I love cats...they taste just like chicken.

I see an idiot reading my shirt.

I still miss my ex-wife. But my aim is improving.

I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not sure.

I used up all my sick days so I called in dead!

I Wish I Was Barbie. That Bitch has EVERYTHING.

''I work for the F.B.I.(Female Body Inspectors)''

I'm a Virgin...but this is an old T-shirt

I'm confused. Wait...maybe I'm not.

I'm fat. But you're ugly. At least I can diet.

I'm having a really stupid idea that might just get us killed.

I'm Magically Delicious

I'm not a bad girl...I'm a good girl with ATTITUDE !!

I'm not bossy. I just know what should be done.

I'm not bossy... I just have better ideas.

I'm not deaf, I'm ignoring you!

I'm not with stupid....We broke up

I'm sick of being my wife's arm candy.

I'm with stupid.

If you can read this. Thank a teacher.

If you're rich, I'm single!

I'm an optimist, but I don't think it helps.

I'm not as think as you drunk I am.

I'm not perfect but parts of me are.

I'm not with stupid....We broke up

In God we trust; all others must pay cash.

In theory, everything works.

Is it possible to be totally partial?

It's been one of those days all week

It's not cheating unless you get caught.

It's Not How You Pick Your Nose, But Where You Put The Booger.

Jesus loves you but I'm his favourite T Shirt.

Joan of Arc was not Noah's wife

Keep it to yourself!!

LOST: Black and white cat. Blind in left eye. Lame. Recently castrated. Answers to the name of Lucky.

Man made beer, God made pot you make the choice.

Mirror, mirror on the wall... What the **^&%^&% happened?

My favourite t-shirt... -> insufficient memory at this time...

My other vehicle is a Romulan Warbird!

My shirt has words on it

My shirt is blank, haha made you look!!

My weight is perfect for my height - which varies.

My wife said "If you go hunting or fishing one more time I'm going to leave you" ...I'm sure going to miss her.

No sense in being pessimistic it wouldn't work anyway.

Not a RULES type of girl.

Nothing is illegal until you get caught.

ok!!!! u r looking at me....

Old Dog. Knows All The Tricks.

Paddle faster! I hear banjo music.

QUICK!!! What colour are my eyes?!?!

Real Men Love Jesus!

Save The Whales. Collect the Whole Set

Saw It ... Wanted It ... Had A Fit ... Got It!

SCHIZOPHRENIA Beats being alone.

Seen It All, Done It All, Can't Remember Most of It

Shhhhhh... that's the sound of nobody caring what you think.

Single again but now with experience.

Smile. It's The Second Best Thing You Can Do with Your Lips.

So, you like reading t-shirts? I have more at my place...

Someone give me an x-tra shirt

Sometimes I wake up grumpy; Other times I let her sleep!!

Success comes with effort

T.G.I.F - Thank God I'm Female.

The Big Bang Theory: God spoke and BANG it happened.

The buck doesn't even slow down here.

The Earth Is Full - Go Home

The more beautiful the snake the deadlier its venom.

The older I get the better I was.

The Sex Was So Good That Even The Neighbours Had A Cigarette.

Their shirt is not like my shirt....

This is my t-shirt. (On a bright yellow shirt)

This is your boyfriend's T-shirt!

This t-shirt slogan is written in Braille.

This T-shirt turns green in the company of morons.

Those Who Live By the Sword Get Shot By Those Who Don't

Want to get laid? Crawl up a chicken's ass and wait!

WARNING: Reading this shirt may be harmful to sensitive readers, but you're going to read it any way.

Warning! This shirt has sharp edges.

Watch your step while you are busy reading my t-shirt.

We are born naked, wet and hungry. Then things get worse.

Welcome To Shit Creek - Sorry, We're out Of Paddles

Well, this day WAS a total waste of make-up.

What does the T in T-Shirt really mean?

What happens in this shirt stays in this shirt.

What If There Were No Hypothetical Questions?

What is the speed of dark?

What was the best thing before sliced bread?

When all else fails, lower your standards.

When I married 'Mr. Right,' I didn't know his first name was 'always.'

Who died and made YOU Darth Vader?

Who's Your Daddy?

Winners train, Losers complain

You Are Depriving Some Village Of Its Idiot

You have been a naughty boy, go to my room!

You have ONE advantage over me.....you can kiss my ass and I can't!!

You looked better on My Space.

You wasted the many seconds of your life it took to read this : )

You went on vacation and all I got was this stupid T shirt?

You're funny. But looks aren't everything